...thoughts....

Some new things and some old things... A new gym was just built in our town recently. Very nice gym. This is the most convenient gym that is in this town. Mostly for me anyway because of the location. It is like less than 5 minutes from me and is open 24/7. It also has massage chairs and a water massage bed. The max amount of minutes is only 5 to 10 minutes though. hmph. I wonder if there is a longer option available where a person just simply pays a little more. I haven't found out yet. I also have yet to take a tour. It has been way too busy with its opening and everything. Another cool thing "Planet Fitness," is a franchise where if I ever went out of town, I could take advantage of my membership in another gym. I know I'm not traveling much yet though. .... Paul Rudd. Besides the obvious news of him knocking up some random woman; I think there is something going on with him. HOWEVER, I'm not going to go there with him right now because there might be some kind of guessing game or competition that comes along with his kit and caboodle where I already know I'm not changing who I am. ... In a different direction: about the second anchor man and what went on in that incident. I don't know what the recent arbitrage is. If I do have a Paul, I don't know who my Paul is. I know it isn't Edward, and Edward already took his own route where I lost interest. If I have anything recent to say about just giving up or giving in, it is still a yes and a no. I am not a permanent structured program where he can push a button and I just choose to give in and sexually lay my life down for him or any other matrix Paul Rudd. I'm not permanently one way or another when it comes to resolving a fight or argument. It isn't even that I'm giving up on my Veronica either. I know I still have too much integrity, honesty, and correct adequacy than so many people. I've always been smart enough to know not everything is about my Veronica and not everything is about arguing or exploits of the media. Some people's out of control behavior and over assumptions were never my responsibility. Their lack of integrity was my responsibility. And back to Paul, not everything is worth arguing about. ..... The rest of the guys with "As the Sarah Turns," .... I still have interest in some old and some new ones. Through time I wait out and lose interest or gain interest in them or someone new. I'm still not committed to anyone. I feel comfortable in saying I have a couple of boyfriends, but know there have been no serious decisions made in me being with any of them. ....... Other random thoughts.... I have some but my blog is done.

Updates

Hmmmmm. At my own pick and choose leisure of what to talk about, I think I will go somewhere with what my updated thoughts are of something...... Prostitution. But, before I get into the actual subject, I'll talk a little about Nicole too. I know she is Tom Cruise's ex wife. And, even before and back then, I was a fan of hers in Moulin Rouge despite what my opinion of prostitution was. There is some obvious media stir, but I can't completely see it or know what is up. Tom has given me enough reason to be egocentric with him to an extent. Perhaps my life could have been at a serious stake between the two with prostitution vs. non-prostitution. In my own personal life, what a mess I have been making of it all. Maybe Tom could be seen as a flirty friend on occasion, but not really so. He made a choice. He has not changed his mind on his choice, and I am not a beggar for his sake or any other sick sake he could shoot out of his asshole. If Nicole does have a mega share with Katy Perry, I have no other choice but to make the same serious enemy out of her as I do Katy Perry...... Maybe someone sees my dust has settled, or are confused as to where I stand........... I really don't mind giving my own personal updates on the subject of prostitution right now. First off, I am satisfied with stripping and am convinced I would be more satisfied with that than prostitution. However, I'm not going to elaborate on my preferences and what my judgmental differences are. Thus, I'm just going to talk about prostitution itself. I know in some countries it is a normal thing and there are less social rules than other countries where it is illegal. While it is illegal here, I'm sure it happens all the time. I'm sure people are very aware of numbers of prostitutes and more sure that people abide more by their own social rules than according to law. I'm sure the most hated ones are more than set up to be found out and arrested. This really is one reason why I won't personally risk prostitution too much. I know how hated I've always been. I know someone would love any excuse they could find to send me to prison. I have been waiting and wondering for a long time if I would ever be arrested for the sincere death threats I give to some people and especially Jon Stewart, but I would assume maybe I am being given some support in the fact of the obvious self defense that it has always been. I still don't know why I haven't been given enough help yet and still feel left for dead..... Back to the original thought. I really do believe prostitution would be ok in some situations. I won't judgmentally elaborate on what my own personal/ judgmental exceptions there are. I'm just going to say maybe I have been a little more closed-minded before and a little too naïve with some of the Ron Burgundys, Mysogynists, Gangsters, Niggers, Riggers, Corrupt robbers. I wouldn't even let someone see me in a condemning way where "corruption breeds corruption," when I agree with exceptions to prostitution. I do not doubt the depths of it, and know I'm too blind and in too deep with my own personal life. I have one other good idea of why there are a lot of OCD stalkers and people who are constantly leering or wanting to "trap me," into something. In my own personal life the fact of the matter is, when a shit storm of corruption and prostitution gets brewing or storming, this is the time I refuse to be the one who is at mercy. I can already guess why there are so many codependent games, bondage games, and when some people to want to trap and frame me more. Perhaps this is where my snowflake war came from. I just don't care the way people want to compare, simplify, complicate, or overly complicate things. I will always know who I am. I know I know my real innocence or non-innocence. I have always seen straight through the manipulation games and still can't get over the way some people will never want to give up on wanting to fool me or intentionally lie about me anyway. I've seen myself as being lost in too many shit storms. Whatever the gossip and rumors, I like the way I stay lost despite the real pain some people want to put me in. OLGA PRIDE!!!!!! It isn't that my Olga disagrees with prostitution. My problem is prostitution or no prostitution, I am my most trusted. No matter how shallow or deep of water someone wants to push me in, I will always be safer swimming on my own. I know others would only want to drown me.

Diary of a stripper part 2

I think I'll start with finishing my story off..... I would have to say I did like the second night of stripping better. I did make more money that night. I also liked that it had a little more space. Although I didn't make as much money as I wanted, I was asked to come back again, and they were serious. The second club gave better spending suggestions for an out-of-towner. They even wanted me working today, but I had already had a scheduled Amtrack train. If I could afford to go back to Baltimore, I would probably try out some more clubs before having a regular. I had a blast though. Stripping really is one of the funnest things to do. If I were to take a week's vacation, I probably would spend a night or two in a strip club. (I guess it depends on who I'm with). Of course not if Mitzi were to be around. I did notice some stalking, aggressive persistence from some men who don't want to let me go or hate the idea of me winning in the arbitrage. However, I wasn't going to let that ruin the freedom I felt dancing. CNN was quick to lie/assume and hate on me by denying my pride and confidence. I know they most likely won't be the only ones who want to hatefully keep denying the truth of my pride like that. (And, I do know, stripping isn't the only thing I can get proud about). Although I spent a lot of traveling money, I still feel accomplished/fulfilled. That is pretty much all I have to say about stripping for now. I was thinking though, while I'm on one route, I might as well put my two cents in to my anger.........In every day life before my first stripping mission......... When I feel murdered, I feel murdered by prejudice, denial, and intentional lies, or attacked from another's aggressive emotional rampage because they know they haven't proved a thing or are winning. I don't know why people fail to recognize the truth of my story so much. There are lots of times when I think someone's aggressions get too sick and too far. There are a lot of people who refuse to accept how many Gadaffi's I have had to put up with. There have been some sicker ones who lived to obsess and be hawkish or even aggressively lie about the level of my confidence or pride. They made confidence to constantly be a number 1 priority in some of the sickest of ways. When I judge people, a person's confidence really is an important thing. I just simply know, some people know they know how to do something, or just are something, and they know they have been disliked for other reasons before. Fascism. It isn't that a person doesn't have the skills, are seriously inadequate, or do not care. A person should never be made to feel such a serious discomfort because they were never conformed enough. I will always think it is so selfish for someone to never give up on a conformed expectation. I think it is sick for the way some people feel they deserve to be in control of another person's life like that. How could some people be so impossibly forceful in expecting to see eye to eye and deny the real identity of the person? In my own personal world, the reason I felt denied was because I was simply never conformed or popular enough. I do notice how I lose and gain popularity some times. I just don't always need the popularity. I don't always need to live with an ego. I know I'm still misunderstood to this day with what my priorities and agendas are. And I know there are plenty of people in plenty of situations that I have already past who will never know the truth for what it was because of the way they chose to judge me and test me.

Diary of a Stripper, part 1

Last night, I officially lost my virginity in being a non-stripper. I stripped for the first time ever. Despite all of the negative things that went on, I had a thrill and so much fun stripping. I plan on going stripping again tonight. Based on yesterdays and todays information, I bet every strip club in this town is socially rigged in one way or another. I can and can't win. I can win because I can be unstoppable in a different way......... What is my main reason of being a stripper? Making money. The thrill and the fun will be worth it this time no matter how much money I make. The next time or the time after, I would have to decline because so far, it isn't paying off. Sad but true. Last night was the first audition, and tonight there is still a lot of possibility of making good money. I am trying out another strip club that I have picked and planned for. The guy already said it should be much different than the previous club. I hope it is, and I hope this trip pays itself off more. Even more, it would be great to have this trip completely paid off and have a significant amount to bring home to keep coming back. Until then, I'm just going to wait to do it when I know I need to, or when I feel the fun and the thrill. Man I hate the amtrack. I had a 2 hour delay on the way here. I also got lost in the DC station and almost cried when I didn't think I would make it to Baltimore in enough time. I just got in in the knick of time. I didn't have time to do my hair. When I checked the time when I was getting ready, I had to really throw myself together quickly. I was pretty upset at how the day went yesterday. I also screwed up with the hotel. I should have just picked 2 days. It was such a nice hotel that I was at. I just didn't know what to expect, or if it would have been better to relocate to a different hotel. I couldn't get the same deal as I got yesterday. I would have had to pay full price which was a price I couldn't afford. I'm still kicking myself for not getting the both nights while I was picking that hotel. I am so mad. I have to pay a more expensive taxi fare now. It is going to cost me more than it should have from the start. Still kicking myself. Next time I travel, I'll have my travel skills a little more sharpened and easier to decide how I travel. I made a wrong choice of baggage as well. My shoulders are sore with red marks on them. I left my self tanner lotion home. I didn't have to worry about it as much yesterday. Today, I'm going to be more paranoid about the blotchiness or whiteness of my skin. When it comes to stripping, I definitely feel more comfortable with a tan. About my actual stripper tell all experience? There isn't one. In the actual stripper setting, you can call me Wildcat and leave it at that or see where else it could go.