Thoughts and a little bit of drama...

Back from the vacay and it was mostly nice. Nothing I could do about the weather, but I was swimming in the ocean much earlier today. I have a big work load tomorrow with the Whiskey Rebellion festival, then plan on working during the night... I didn't make much the week before vacation, and didn't make anything during vacation. I have to catch up before the move. This is the first year for the Whiskey Rebellion, so I'm not sure how it will go. At least the space was free; I had to take a free pass. In Cumberland, I wouldn't be surprised if there was some catch, but maybe it is experimental for everybody... So much going on right now....... It almost looks like the political world wants or needs me. I am getting two pulls right now that I can see, but I'm already booked and busy with life as it is already. I'm not thrilled to be involved in any politics right now, and I think I do have a few baits that only have a political ulterior motive.................Drama... Despite another Stockholm that is serious and scary; I think I'll think out loud over Mike right now. I really like Mike and he seems like a really nice guy. While I have some hesitance; I really like some of the times that he takes control. I like the fantasies and his seduction. Sometimes, I pull out my thesaurus for better word replacements, because "like," seems like a very bland and vague term to describe it, but I don't have the time for some serious detailed nit-picking of words. This is all summed up and to my point. Anyway, despite the things I know I like, I was going to be a more laid back and somewhat thoughtless of a decision-maker. If he is a dead-end with no ideal match over what I'm after, why should I lead myself on more? Why give myself any kind of hope? I really wasn't going to care (part of me still doesn't care about whatever consequence) but I will have to let myself feel some kind of pressure anyway... He could be into open-marriages (which still is not a good thing) he could be "my pilot" (which was also Sidney's proposition) ("Pilot" from "The Terminal") There is something about Mike's pilot, where I could just be that flight attendant for whatever period of time with me knowing how the story goes. (That pilot did not ever leave his wife and the flight attendant stuck with him as a doormat anyway and she should have felt like a Coco). I wasn't going to care for a time for a reason: I think these thoughts are all too rushed. I think it is thinking way too ahead where there is still no official introduction or meeting. I've never been into open marriages as either the married person or unmarried swinger and never will be. I am his wife's asshole because if he wanted me; I'd let it happen. I can't really let myself chase him. Not right now. There is still too much I don't know and it would be too foolish of me. ........... More danger lies ahead with the most recent. I see him more as a jackass than I would with Travis. He is already in too much of a dangerous situation and when his timing is so off he comes out of nowhere for me for some reason anyway. (He really does come off as too violent, mean, and hateful). Maybe he does feel he needs someone like me for whatever reason in his troubled time but I seriously don't know where he is coming from and why he picks me? Did he have a share with David before where my ammo was never meant for him and only David? What did I do to this guy? Why is he targeting me? I know I don't know him and I think he knows and understands that. I really have nothing to say to him. If he does want to murder me or bring serious harm that I don't think I could handle, I seriously don't think he has reason to be so hostile and violent with me. I don't have anything to say. I don't know what he means to be and why he would take me. ...... drama in another world; and in my other, a busy day and festival tomorrow..........