Forced to be the Fool

David, you seriously hurt me and I think you're way too mean. While signs are up for me, and you sexually lose yourself in return through that Tennis player; it still is not over, even when signs are good. (not always the most perfect grammatical skills) (not seeing myself as sucking it for you. you suck it. and this terrible trashing compromise is only for me and you. you take me down so terribly). I'm still very aware that I'm not the only woman in your life. While some men are more chauvinistically intentional to tell women they aren't the only woman alive (even when they don't even have her) you really make a woman know she's not the only one. I just don't understand how you think our relationship could keep working when you know how much of a serious monogamous demand I have, and you seem to be in favor of open relationships. Maybe you're really not like that at all. I refuse to compromise myself. I will get violent again if I have to. And this is my point, I will always be violent or upset about it. I hate being stuck in a terrible and constantly poisonous relationship. I have recently officially turned down some men. I could have slept with some men if I wanted to. You probably still are sleeping with other women, and if not, you're probably mind fucking them or flirting with them. You still havn't reduced your threat with several other women. While signs show you seem to make the choice of me, YOU STILL SEEM TO PROTECT WHAT YOU COULD HAVE WITH SEVERAL OTHERS. You're not convincing me enough. I still feel pretty betrayed and I'm going to feel betrayed by you for awhile. I know I get upset and have different periods of crying over different things but I do not like the way you feel obligated to me. Sometimes, I feel like I'm just an obligation and don't matter that much to you. I don't like the way you're not safe enough with me and don't give me much relief. ..... In my own heads up, you could be suspicious of me with Joe Flacco when I go to Baltimore. I think he was being a cat with me in a movie "Something Borrowed" at one time and he does pose a little bit of a threat. I really don't know who "Dex" is supposed to be. I guessed Joe, Tom Cruise, and Kevin (a guy I went to ORU with). I had a little bit of a mild heart attack when Kate Hudson seriously contacted me for the first time. It was mostly Dane we seemed to fight over but the actor didn't remind me of Dane at all. "Dex" and shoot I got the Darcy name wrong. I thought the Darcy name was supposed to be my character. If you ever did threaten my life for the sake of drugs; I probably would let Joe be my white knight. He is married with kids. I had a thing for him in times past, but there were a few reasons we lost interest in each other. I think he was at a Special Olympics that I went to when I was working for UCP. That was another arbitrage job nightmare. "Something Borrowed," did slap some sense into me as to why I was feeling so hated on. I had a loud hard label as a "rat/snitch" in reputation. I'd agree and disagree. To me it was my hospital story and trying to explain how many stalkers and harassers I had. My own personal "Snooki" gossip character and story can be complicated at times. I'd say it would be Denzel that you would have to worry the most over with the way you keep me threatened and get shady on me. It's so upsetting to have a high level of distrust with you. I still let you in more than you let me in. I'm trying to play it safe with you as much as I can. I can't take another slug from you. Again, if you seriously don't want me, don't feel obligated to me. Don't force yourself to stay with me. Whatever stubborn mystery or stubborn dominance you want, I wish you wouldn't be so stubborn in making me get you anymore. If you've been trying to reach me, I wish you'd be more convincing to believe than confusing and in question. I'm not satisfied that I have you enough. In the next 10 minutes or tomorrow it will be "As the David Turns"