Murdered Meat

........Where to begin with you.......... Cat and Mouse games,, Are you being serious or this is another childish sucker punch game? I'm too mature and out of class with you or anyone else's sucker punch games..... So, I am just going to continue with the stance of you wanting me and wanting to be with me and how I feel about everything. I feel like I'm not going to win no matter what happens. Why you would say the things you said and be the hateful and severely morbid lying betraying beast and you to keep wanting me aside all coming from you, I just don't know. I can't take anymore pain. I would wish you be as gentle and quiet as you could while I ramble on in a screaming mess. Besides the way I know I've been murdered by you; I fear I don't know the worst of it all. Perhaps you brush off your own self and forget some of your other murderous words or actions, and I come to find out about it later and make sense of how it effects me in the present........ I see nothing but potential pain in my future regardless of the measure of running from you or giving in to you. I don't know if you ever regret the way you made me anyone and everyone's loser or the ways you have betrayed me and let me down. Even though there is a permanent and still painful scar over the way you have already made your choices, it matters that you regret yourself. I just don't think you comprehend how much you hurt me. Your prejudices against me have hurt me more than anything. There is one thing in being rejected and another in being violently rejected and damned. I have had an endless sob because more often than any other feeling, I feel like I have always been your indentured servant. It was never ok to keep egging me on in a serious political viewpoint or even a joking one on your belief in imperialism. I try not to let myself think of the slave labor too much, or the things you value too much. Even if I tried to lie to myself it would always have been that much more impossible of denying being your indentured servant. I just don't think you could ever comprehend enough how you have made me feel through all these years and the way you have always denied or looked over my murderous cry for help. You just don't seem to understand how much you have hurt and betrayed me. I will always look down on you and have GREAT doubts against you. I have a lot of other things on my mind right now that I could talk about, but I'm not going to talk about everything at once. I think this is all that I'm going to say today.