Blasted Arbitrage

Jack, First off: something recent. I'm not going into the details of it, and although I think you were recently a little too violent for me, I didn't get over you or want to give you up or reject you. Although our jealousy over each other hasn't got too big, it takes one to know one. I know I havn't got violent with you yet, and havn't felt entitled to be. My other reason for being upset, is that I know I don't always understand what is going on with you or what some of your messages or signals are. I'm crazy for you.... There have been things going on that I can't control and I don't know the "why's" of everything and what everyone's stories are. People get in trouble with me, I sometimes push back/ get myself in trouble, yet know that there will always be some kind of reaction. While I have never stopped thinking the way some people react to me is so unfair and wrong, there are some consequences I am defenseless in being made to live with anyway. In some different times and moments, the lack of control I have over my life are tougher than other times. I am not intentionally trying to mess up with you, hurt you, or make you feel threatened. Please don't hate me..... I seriously don't understand everything that is going on with some particular people and however you're included in relating to them or having shares in their arbitrage. There is a lot I don't know or can make sense of right now. While I second guess myself in thinking you don't want me enough and don't really get that jealous of me and maybe I am feeling more guilty than I should, I still believe you have some jealousy for me. I don't know how serious you are, and I'm not looking for a license to cheat based on your seriousness. I don't think it is always fair for the way you seem to be jealous, but I was having some lust and love for it. I was getting a little horny over the thought of you wanting to go "50 shades of grey" on me, but it is being interrupted because of how the arbitrage is being played and the way I know I'm not at fault. I'm sorry I'm not getting whatever it is I should get and what people's stories are. I'm sorry I can't control the way the arbitrage is being played. Please don't hate me when or if I get pounced by someone. Please don't think I'm intentionally provoking, threatening, or wanting to hurt you.